It costs $1.75 to wash laundry at my apartment building, and another $1.75 to dry a load.
I broke a fiver at the market down the street, and asked for all the change in quarters. I’ll need to break much more than a fiver in the future, if I want to make sure I have an adequate stock of coins always available.
I already stained my glorious white duvet cover with a bit of Indian curry (just a teeny tiny little spot), but I dabbed bleach on it, and if all else fails, I will dab white nail polish over it.
I bought six classy-as-fuck wine glasses from the Dollar Store today.
I have a massive pile of cardboard in my living room that I need to cut up into smaller pieces and dispose of.
I am sitting in a really cool Starbucks right now, like five blocks from my apartment, because I don’t get internet at my place until Wednesday.
I’ve never lived in a city like this before. When I lived in Portland (which to me, was a huge city), I first was in a really nice, upscale and quiet residential neighborhood, then I moved to a kinda quirky, kinda mainstream but really small neighborhood (Sellwood). Then I moved to another state, to the suburbs of a major city. Now I’m in the coolest, hippest, quirkiest neighborhood in that city, and I couldn’t be happier. I feel a little at a loss, but in a fun, exciting way. I’m just a bit out of my element, and I need to get acquainted with my surroundings and true city living.
I slept through my rowing class on Thursday, which was a huge bummer for me. I love waking up, all groggy, and slowly gaining consciousness on the drive over to the lake. I love carrying a heavy boat down to the docks, and gliding over the water as the sun rises. I love driving to work after practice, as everyone else is just waking up, though I’ve been up for hours. It’s like the natural world and I share a secret - intimate moments - that nobody else is aware of or interested in. I’m looking forward to Tuesday’s practice.
I didn’t turn in my essay last week for my online English class. I have another one due Tuesday night. I’m determined to not fall behind any more, and to get totally caught up this week. My excuses will be: “I was on vacation / then I moved / and I didn’t have internet access / and I just started working full time / and it was soooo much for me to handle” (which is all totally true, but god, I hate giving excuses).
I live in the “gay neighborhood.” I grew up in a very conservative town, but was lucky enough to be exposed to a very special community of LGBT folk at my old college, plus being able to live in Portland. Never before, though, have I seen two middle-aged men walking down the street, holding hands, completely infatuated with each other. I’m so glad to be living here, where what should be normal, is seen as normal. I smiled at them, glad to have escaped my hometown’s intolerance, proud to expose myself to cultures I am not a part of, and relieved that at least somewhere, gay couples can feel safe with their public displays of affection.
Viktor had me meet him at his house on Friday, and he walked me through how to write a specific kind of letter for our specific field of work. I’ve never written one before, as it’s something a higher-up person would compose. They’re boring to write, though, so obviously he doesn’t want to waste time on them. He is super paranoid about confidentiality, so he is going to give me the information I need to compose each document on a CD, and I am not to keep any files on my computer (or at least destroy them immediately after emailing him the final draft). He has yet to email me the template and other documents he said he would, though. I’ve realized that he’s just awful about following through and keeping to his word, even if he means well. I’ll give it a few days (because honestly, I need the time to write my papers for my English class), then I will bug him about it.
My couch is being delivered to my aunt’s house on Wednesday. I’ll need to rent a Uhaul, then enlist the help of some people (The Girl and her partner are at the top of my list - heads up that I’ll be begging ya here pretty soon) to carry it up the stairs to my apartment. Free booze for you two, if you can / are willing to do it, though!
My razor is still at my aunt’s house. I haven’t shaved my pits or legs in a few days. I took some Nair to part of my triangle vag, but it didn’t all come off. Fancy texted me right as I got out of the shower last night, so he got to eat some very awkwardly haired pussy.
My feet are still peeling from the sunburn I got like three weeks ago.
I start at my job full-time tomorrow morning. Five days a week, 8:00-4:30.
I finally walked down the main drag of my neighborhood today, and there are a shit-ton of higher-end thrift / secondhand shops. I need to exercise extreme frugality with my finances and refrain from constantly updating my wardrobe if I want to be able to pay my rent on time every month.
All of my regulars have been texting me, worried that I quit. I’ll probably see at least three of them this week.
I need to go to Tmobile and get a prepaid ho phone.
I need to update my website (my donations for longer appointments - I highballed it a bit much, my wishlist, and my cancellation policy, which was a bit harsh).
I am wearing a super cute red dress right now, that I am tempted to wear to work tomorrow, but I’m afraid that it’s a bit too short (like, that’s the rule for dress length for a more casual office environment? And if I wear black or nude tights with it, is it more okay than with bare legs?).
I texted Plaid “Hey, long time, no talk!” and never got a reply. The last I heard from him, he was waiting to find out if he had cancer or not. I’m worried and want an update, I want to fuck him, but would also be okay with not fucking him and just being friendly / friends with him / inserting myself into his social life (because we live in the same neighborhood now and he’s bound to have super rad friends), but I did reach out, and I’m not going to be overbearing. I did my bit, and he doesn’t seem to be interested, so I’m going to just let it be. I’m not going to get weird about it (is this an appropriate substitution for “crazy”? - which was what I was tempted to use, tbh).
When Good Guy came over Friday night, he was telling me about this girl he’s been dating a lot. I hid my face, which he knows is my cue for either coy shyness, or an oncoming anxiety attack. He asked what was wrong, and I told him I was jealous. He moved up on the bed to hold me, and I explained as calmly as I could that I understand my jealous feelings are irrational, and not his fault, but a problem I need to work through on my own. He told me it was totally fine for me to feel jealous, and stopped talking about her, and held me as I calmed down. I was proud of myself for not crying. Like a fool, I apologized for being a downer. He replied that I wasn’t, then said, “And I’m sorry for triggering you earlier.” I don’t think it’s his fault at all. He is polyamorous and used to being open about the fact that he dates other people. I just can’t handle hearing about it, and he didn’t realize that. I am glad that he is aware of his behavior and how it can affect others, though, and that he seems to really care about other people’s emotional well-being.
When I first hid my face, he asked, “Are you anxious?” I like that he remembers that I told him I have an anxiety problem, and that I don’t have to keep reminding him of it or justifying it as the underlying cause for a lot of my behavior. He just gets it, recognizes my body language when I feel anxious, and talks me through it, asking why I feel that way, and how we can make it better. That’s pretty fucking awesome, imo.
I need to be careful not to be a downer all the time, though. Some shit is fine, but there’s only so much drama a person can handle until they want out of my life. Next time we see each other, I’ll make an extra effort to be bright and chipper.
He was laying next to be on the bed, holding me, a calming presence. I told him, “I feel really comfortable around you.” He laughed, and said he gets that a lot. I can see why. He puts on no airs, does not judge, and can just suck the sad right out of anyone. He’s stable and steady, a calm rock.
Viktor suggested if I had regulars, to just stick with them and not advertise. To removed myself completely from all the sites. I have a few regulars, but want a few more. I’m going to advertise on EROS for a while, and hopefully pick up a few more gems, before I can say, “Sorry, I’m not taking any new clients at the moment.” He also said to check the ID of everyone I see and send him a photo of it so he can run a background check on them which will a) let me know if they have a criminal record and b) dissuade them from being stalker-ish and showing up at my house without an appointment.
I’m going to call the attorney Viktor recommended in a few weeks, after I recoup some of the funds I spent on moving, and see about keeping him on retainer.
Viktor knows I have a blog, and that I blog about sex work, in addition to other things, but has never asked me for the URL, which I think is pretty sweet, especially given how inquisitive and demanding he is.
I’ve never lived somewhere with a totally blank slate before. The walls of my apartment are a neutral off-white, and I can put whatever the fuck I want in any of the rooms. The sense of freedom I feel is indescribable.
Viktor called me last week, right after I had walked home from the grocery store, trying not to giggle aloud or shed tears of joy, and he could hear the happiness in my voice, and asked me what was up. I told him I was “ridiculously happy,” that I had always wanted to live in a neighborhood like this, and now I finally do, and I feel like everything in my life is finally falling into place, just how I’d always dreamed.